Friends, by now we have all heard the news that due to an unfortunate skiing accident, the band have had to reschedule the Summer ’23 shows to til Autumn next year. See the end of the article for new dates. The whole team at BMA send our love, it will be a sad Christmas without you *sadface* GET WELL SOON COREY! Righto-let’s press ahead, keeping in mind the date change.
For the first time, Cell Block 69 is back again for the last time ever (tautologies are essential with this band). Yes, the Coreys are to coral at Belconnen’s The Baso Megadome for two hotly exclusive shows.
Capturing the essence of frontman Duanne Le Corey-Michaels is like witnessing a total eclipse of the heart or capturing a careless whisper (song lyrics stolen from CB69 by George Michael, but we’ll get to that). Donning my most robust UV-protection shades in a feeble attempt to protect from his potent glow, I caught up with Le Corey- Michaels for a pow-wow.
Jen (BMA): How do you respond to the famous local quote, “You know it’s Christmas in Canberra when you do Cell Block 69?”
Duanne Le Corey-Michaels (CB 69): Canberra? Oh! You mean Canberry! Then I reply in the affirmative! In fact, the Canberry Legislative Assembly are changing the name Christmas to Corey-mas. I think.
Canberry is a must-have place on the itinerary for any globe-trotting band. You have one of the world’s most wonderful yet hidden underground stadiums at The Baso!
Jen: So, back again for the final show, like last year? And the year before that? And the…
Duanne Le Corey-Michaels: Last year was to be our last, true. But every year, we break up, spend time on our respective Caribbean Islands, and eventually, I’ll call up Corey Rok SiXXXxxXXX, and we make up over a bottle of Cointreau. Or two.
That’s just the emotional turmoil of being a Corey., I s’pose.
Jen: Speaking of emotional turmoil, I hesitate to bring this up, but you’re still quite sore about the George Michael thing, right?
Duanne Le Corey-Michaels: When you sing, “Guilty feet have got no rhythm,”… I mean, as much as George Michael did an excellent job of that, he didn’t write it, did he?
George was a wonderful man, a very generous man. A very generous man who generously helped himself to our songs, made mega hits, and UN-generously ignored its creators.
They even had Andrew Ridgely make some ludicrous doco, pretending he wrote them!
Jen: Onto a happier topic, I must say, you look sensational.
Duanne Le Corey-Michaels: Yes, you must.
Jen: What’s your favourite piece of clothing?
Duanne Le Corey-Michaels: Whatever I wear at the given moment. Being a rock star is a 24-hour-a-day job.
That said, I do have a special wristband, but it’s in The Louvre. They got it in safekeeping for most of the year, as they should. It’s a work of art.
Jen: And what exactly should us masses wear to the show?
Duanne Le Corey-Michaels: Clothes that make your ’80s soul sing. Ones that bring out the inner Pat Benatar that lives within each Canberryan. You’ll know it’s right when you cry: “A-HA! “THIS is what I was always meant to wear!” This moment may occur when you have nothing on it at all. Just listen to your inner Pat.
Oh, and for Rock Gods’ sake, REMEMBER YOUR SUNGLASSES! You’ll be out until the morning.
And bring a towel for after the jacuzzi, of course. And a passport, to be safe. You never know where you might end up.
Jen: Surely it’s better NOT to bring a passport to prevent one from leaving the country in some fugue state?
Duanne Le Corey-Michaels: Waking up in another country is every pop-rock fan’s God-given right.
Jen: Of course. So, how many Coreys are there this year?
Duanne Le Corey-Michaels: Nine, plus potential guest Coreys. We usually have Corey McCorey, who pops in with a bit of bagpipes. Corey O’Seven does some extra vocal work. Then there’s Corey Burley-Griffin, Corey-Anne Kennerley, Corey Farnham… Oh, and The Horny Coreys.
Jen: Who are The Horny Coreys? Groupies?
Duanne Le Corey-Michaels: Good gracious, no. They play the horns, of course. All 13 or 14 Coreys of them. It’s a veritable cavalcade of Coreys! (NOT a ‘plethora’. Plethora is actually a pejorative term. Read a book, people)
Jen: That’s a lot of Human. Makes me think; what does the ’80s smell like?
Duanne Le Corey-Michaels: Oh, many things. There’s always a base level of 4711 wherever you are.
It smells like Rexona mixed with a man’s chest hair and moisture; moisture that smells like Scandinavia with a hint of Pat Cash. It smells like a headband after a long night out. Like a soupçon of eyeliner powder and foundation mixed with the heady, slightly acrid smell of chlorofluorocarbon hairspray.
I’ve got cans of this stuff up here. I’ve been told by the CSIRO that I can use it, but for 25 years and not a day over.
Jen: Sights, sounds, smells… Is this what to expect for this year’s farewell concert?
Duanne Le Corey-Michaels: Ahhhhh, “people” and their expectations. They can expect whatever they like; it won’t make a difference. We’ll still deliver the single greatest pop-rock experience of their insignificant little lives.
So don’t hold out for a hero til the end of the night. BE that hero. Be at a Cell Block 69 concert.
Profound? Probably not. But truthful? Also, probably not.
The most extraordinary experience of the Canberry underground stadium awaits when Cell Block 69 play for two nights only Sat 23rd [SOLD OUT] & Sun 24th March 2024 at The Baso. Tix are $42.35 via Oztix. Pack your headbands.