From The Bossman: The Halfyear Half-Cocked Looking Back To Go Forward Review

Well shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Who made it to June already?

We arrive in January; filled with promise, pith and vinegar and alcohol-tinged resolutions. A few blinks, and it’s suddenly June. Thus, hurtling through life at the terrifying speed that we are, I shall attempt at this midway juncture to slow things down by taking up stock.

It’s been a very educational year. Much has been learned, some unlearned, and at other times said “learning” has been fantastically wrong (and thus a potent form of understanding, should you allow it to be).

So, I have spent time retroreflecting on the the top things I’ve learnt, or attempted to learn, this year thus far. Enjoy?

Half Year Review, in C Major*

  • In my quest to be both a feminist and an activist, I have discovered I am woefully ill-equipped at both. There’s such a thing as trying too hard, and being wrong. This is OK. Listen. Learn. Be prepared to change. Keep going.
  • Men’s Rights. It’s not a thing. Stop trying to make Men’s Rights a thing. You know the beginning of time, right? THAT’S when Men’s Rights started. My fellow blokes, it’s time to woman up.
  • By comparison, don’t make standing up for people – be it on grounds of gender, race or religion – all about you. It’s very easy to do this. Just listen to people.
  • Whilst my struggle to be a Better Person has had its inevitable peaks and troughs, I must at least be doing something right. When people wave at me now, they use all their fingers.
  • The difference between infatuation and falling in love is easy to define with time. Hurt though you may, you never truly fall out of love.
  • My grandma thought Steely Dan was the name of the movie Terminator.
  • A bird in the hand may be as good as two in the bush, but in reality you’re still holding a dead bird. And the police will ask you a loooooooooooot of questions.
    ME: [doing something to deserve this] I’ve done nothing to deserve this.
  • I’d rather let someone see me naked than parallel park.
    That said, I’d rather let someone see me naked than eat food, so that’s not exactly the best benchmark.
  • When you accusingly point a finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at you.
  • Podcasts are the best. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to submerge myself into this medium of entertainment and information. Top Picks – The Dollop, Dumb People Town, Stuff You Should Know, Freakonomics, Radio Lab, Cracked.
  • The best film of the year to date is Logan. The best album is Com Truise. The best thing to do with arts is Art, Not Apart.
  • My gardening game has really hit new heights these past months. Although all these damn tomatoes keep getting in the way of my beautiful weed arrangement.
  • The best way to complain is to make things.
  • I think I am a better person than I actually am. But the act of knowing this means there’s hope to change for the better; to grow and be the person my family, friends, work colleagues, and poor, poor unfortunate future dates deserve me to be.

Take a look back at your own six months. Draw strength from them. And a kickarse six months to be shall be ours to enjoy.

* Where the C stands for Cu…(REDACTED)

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