Dave Ruby Howe

BMA Magazine Albums of 2011, Cut Copy - Zonoscope [Modular/UMA]

By the time the final synth wash of the epic 15-minute finale Sun God echoes out and ebbs away to signal the end of Cut Copy's third studio offering Zonoscope the Melbourne troupe's grand vision fully unfolds for the listener. For the last hour the Modular golden boys have offered up a bold collection of modern dance music done their way; from the dense electro throb of Corner Of The Sky to their note-perfect take on Madchester hedonism with Blink And You’ll Miss A Revolution to the sweet, with radio-bound pop songs like Where I’m Going and Take Me Over, the Cutters crew not only show a sleeker than ever gift for song craft but also a genuine versatility that most bands would do unmentionable things to borrow. On Need You Now the band nail perhaps their finest moment yet with a billowing synth build up and this super-charged croon that just kills me. What’s particularly impressive about Zonoscope is that it comes a decade on from Cut Copy’s genesis as just a solo sample-delica outfit for Dan Whitford. In that time Cut Copy’s developed into an almost unrecognisable new beast with Whitford and co growing into the most sophisticated party band on the planet. Bands like Cut Copy don’t come around very often and records as cohesive and realised as Zonoscope are even rarer.

LMFAO

LMFAO have proven across the year just how despicably dreadful they are, yet it’s this single that sticks with us, lingering like a rotten fart and clogging up our nostrils with cheap synth squiggles, caveman raps and some bullshit about shuffling that’s already six years too late.

Jessie J

No joke, this shit is softer than soba noodles with both Jessie J and B.o.B even pipping Adele to the post as 2011’s most boring and limp dicked musical moment.

David Guetta

Simply the biggest, dumbest, most obnoxious mesh of dance and rap that you’ll hear this year. And hopefully ever because this shit deserves to die.

Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars and that fucking fedora hat. For all his saturation this year it’s Grenade that hurts the most. What a nightmare of a song this is with cloying, overwrought poncing about from the ever artificial Mars. Be prepared to hear this in every X-Factor audition for the next jillion years.

Brian McFadden

A master class in terrible music unto himself, BriFad reached new heights (depths?) of shitness here, bridging the gap between pro date rape anthems and hard floor banjo beats. Eugh.

Farewell Dave Ruby Howe, and thank you!

Seeing as though this is my last singles column forever I figure we should go out with a bang and revisit the very worst releases of 2011. That’s always been more fun anyway.

The Fighting League - Single

Like you didn't already know The Fighting League are the funnest punks roaming the Supabarn fruit corner right now, but as Guys You Want To Be shows the dudes can also perform thoughtfully with the hoarse narrative recalling misspent school days and aging cool points. But even if they think they’re past it these guys are still the coolest kids you wish you were friends with.

Ricki-Lee

Certainly the least terrible of Australia’s papier mâché pop stars, Ricki-Lee is the latest to succumb to the ‘club banger’. As such Raining Diamonds sounds like it could be anybody’s song. It’s got zero personality and a lot of senseless yell-singing with a hollow refrain about ‘it’ (the sky? your jeweller?) raining diamonds. Whatever the fuck that’s even meant to mean. Pass.

Deep Sea Arcade

Less to do with the fizzy indie pop that so enamoured me to them originally, Deep Sea Arcade’s latest is still a total gem built on equally dreamy and jangly Brit-pop sensibilities from the ringing guitars to the spot on vocal delivery. Dig in.

Architecture In Helsinki

This is seriously the most lush, wonderful, ebullient nugget of pop music you’ll hear this week. And yes I did just use the word ebullient. What of it?

The Black Keys

Though you couldn’t say that Lonely Boy heralds a seismic shift for The Black Keys and their trademark sound, who wants the twosome to be making some fucking dense prog opera when they can still fuzz their jams out to the nines and hammer home a dirty, crunchy and ballsy rocker like this?

Hot Chelle Rae

I have no clue who or what (?) a Hot Chelle Rae is but this is music made expressly for white people with no taste in, well, anything.

Catcall

If there’s any justice in the universe then this summer all the girls will be humming Catcall’s incongruous hooks about satellites and meteors instead of LMFAO garbage as this is simply gorgeous, golden pop. A guy can dream, right?

Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj

Just like the maker of the song which he softly samples here, Big Sean has a resounding air of douchebaggery akin to MC Hammer and you can’t tell if he’s a genius or he just fell arse backwards into a hit song. That image is fitting considering Sean and Nicki spend four good minutes talking in depth about butt cheeks and poo holes. As you can guess it’s just crazy enough to work.

T-Pain

As ever with T-Pain, there’s something endearingly ridiculous about what he’s put to record. In this case it’s the earnest auto-tuned warbling about one’s boo being ‘nekkid’ with a chain on. To be T-Pain, eh? But the novelty of 5 O’Clock wears thin pretty quickly especially with the features including a whispered Lily Allen refrain that could’ve literally been Skyped in.

Rihanna

(Not so) fun fact here: We Found Love is Rihanna’s 12th single since 2009. And that’s not even counting her turns on feature duties. That’s not just flogging a dead horse, it’s savagely executing the horse’s extended family. By now we all know the formula with Rihanna’s forced tones moaning on about something to do with l.o.v.e. while the producer, Calvin Harris in this instance, has naught to do but mine some club euphoria and collect a paycheck. Seriously girl, take a break, read a book, swim in your pool of money; I don’t care what it is, just go away for five minutes.

Bluejuice

These are the same dudes that brought us Vitriol? Don’t get me wrong, that’s no disrespect to that tune and it’s goofy of-the-moment appeal but Act Yr Age is light years more advanced than it and any other Bluejuice hit. Listen to the crispness of the production which brings out every sparkling harmony and bit of hooky instrumentation – it’s dangerously good. And the best part is Bluejuice haven’t sacrificed their fun-ness as everyone’s beaming wildly with each piano pump here. Power pop doesn’t get better than this.

Big Scary

Perhaps less about the Rusty movie and more about relationship brawls, Big Scary’s newie Gladiator is still perfectly titled considering how tough, muscular and roaring the track gets. Searing guitars swell together with un-doctored drum crashes for a sublimely heaving tune that demands repeated spins.

New Navy

Fuck Brooklyn, forget Canada and don't even mention Sweden. Clearly the next hottest hot spot for upcoming indie bands is, um, Ulladulla. Well, that's what New Navy would have us believe with their energetic guitar pop featuring killer croons and coastal-soaked sunny vibes. Tapioca isn't as immediately big a single as Zimbabwe was but give it some repeat listens and it'll grab a tight hold of you. Now, road trip!

Justice

Were you expecting a return to the heady days of 2006, aka electro bangerville? Well, this isn't it. But it's still good, meshing the duo's gift for throbbing bass lines with some inherited Euro pop sensibilities. You probably can't mosh to it, so let's just dance like we're supposed to.

Jessie J

To say that Domino is not the worst thing that Jessie J has ever released is just like saying “oh, it's okay, I only pissed myself – at least it wasn't diarrhoea all through my pants”. It's still not very good and it smells real bad.

Holy Ghost!

There are no bellbottoms, no wide-lapelled shirts spread open and no cocaine platters, but this new brand of disco is still excellent and ripe for boogie action. Of the current crop of revivalists Holy Ghost! are the best that you could ask for, bending warm production with the euphoria of disco. Hold My Breath is another gem from their debut LP and it struts elegantly along for three very short, but also very replay-able minutes.

Vicki Minaj

People know that Rihanna sucks, right? Hell, I’m pretty sure that Rihanna knows that she sucks too. So what’s the point then of having her trill harshly on the hook of tunes like this? Yet we still find ourselves in this position, with everyone just turning whatever cheek’s left and putting up with it. It’s like she’s roofied us and we can only just lie there and take it. And yes, I feel violated now.

David Guetta

Do you like cheese? Hope so, because you’re going to get a lot of it with this. And not just the one kind, either! With Guetta you’ve got a spread of smelly French cheeses and with Usher, uh, whatever’s on special this week and due for expiry. But the funny thing about Without You is that despite the schmaltz these two pour atop the track, it’s light and kind of goofy in its sincerity. And hey, it beats the shit out of Sexy Bitch.

Coldplay

Paradise won’t change any haters’ opinion of Coldplay and you know what? That’s fine. I’m sure Chris Martin can deal with that. But if you’re willing to give this a chance then there’s plenty of reward beyond the anthem-y hooks, especially the thumping electronic beat that’s one K-hole away from being dubstep.

Brite Futures

Though we can't call them by their old awesome title, Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head, the re-dubbed Brite Futures sound just as fun as ever on comeback single Baby Rain, dialing up the giddy synth quirks and bouncy, pouty brat vocals like they never left in the first place. I don’t want to tell you how to live your life but you really need this.

The Potbelleez

Somewhere Sporty Spice and Abz from 5ive are cursing themselves for not doing this first.

Sneaky Sound System

Who ever would’ve thought we’d miss MC Double D? The seemingly spare dick to Miss Connie and Black Angus in Sneaky Sound System clearly added something to the mix as post-Double D Sneaky is kind of sucky. This isn’t that bad, it’s just a flimsy synth pop tune with none of the hook that made SSS likable.

Nero

If you like your bass music leaning towards the bro end of the spectrum and sounding big enough to fill a stadium then Nero are for you. But you probably already know that and have the T-shirt too. The vocal to Promises is probably a bit too sincere for the accompanying wobble chunks but we could all do a lot worse than this.

Calvin Harris

As thin as Calvin Harris’ singing voice may be live his croaky croon kind of suits his latest production. This time the beat is still a thumper but thankfully it’s not as energetically annoying as Bounce was.

Mark Ronson & The Business Intl

Giving Mark Ronson’s Record Collection album from last year a little reboot with a new version of the title track stacked out with a few new celebs is a clever ploy, especially since the Simon Le Bon fronted album take went underrated against all those singles. There’s some new bounce to the production, Pharrell shows up, and MNDR makes for a worthy hook belter but what’s best about this 2.0 release of sorts is the pack of remixes from Moonlight Matters, Plastic Plates, CSS and more that take it to the next level.

LMFAO

At this stage I know I’m just punishing myself by giving LMFAO more column inches but I honestly can’t stay away from them and their brand of fart-tastic electro pop. Their level of success to date is truly baffling, but evidently people don’t just want to watch Jersey Shore but listen to its audio equivalent too.

Lady Gaga

THIS JUST IN! Serial provocateur Lady Gaga has shocked the world with her latest stylistic reinvention, this time morphing into an impossibly more shrill hybrid of what Sheryl Crow and Shania Twain used to offer up in the mid ‘90s. Wow, so edgy, so avant garde!

L-Vis 1990

Having been deep in UK bass territory since day one Lost In Love is a pretty surprising change of pace for L-Vis 1990. But it’s one that works really, really well. L-Vis’ sparse bass inclinations come across in the thin 808 work but otherwise this is a straight pop dream complete with neon synth washes and a strangled sax.

Sky Ferreira -- Sex Rules [EMI]

Sky Ferreira is like 19. And she looks even younger. So it’s kinda awkward to hear her moan and pout on this would-be slutwave anthem. But if you can move past feeling like a sex pest then the fluttering synths and pounding (eek!) drums make for some fun, disposable pop.

Kim Kardashian -- Jam (Turn It Up) [Self-Released]

This is so uninspired and tuneless that it makes every track in Paris Hilton’s music career seem like OK Computer .

Brian McFadden -- Just The Way You Are (Drunk At The Bar) [BMF Records]

Everyone’s in a tizz about how BriFad’s latest single is an ugly portrait of modern misogyny and rape culture, but I think the most offensive part of this is its smearing of Cotton Eye Joe ’s hardfloor banjo legacy.

Architecture In Helsinki -- Contact High [Modular/UMA]

Picture Prince getting a beej from a time-travelling pleasure robot in a poppy field on Mars while all around him a freak-folk orchestra chants and cheers at every slurp and you still won’t come close to how damn good this song is.

Chromeo -- Hot Mess [Turbo]

Chromeo's pristine retro pop is still rattling my cage and Hot Mess is another air-tight little jam. Synth squiggles wound up and let loose like slinkies, bouncy drum machines and some trademark talk-box all collide for, well, a hot mess. The La Roux feature is certainly a nice touch too.

Coupons -- Driving To Your House Party [Disco Texas]

Sydney youngsters Coupons make their first impression count with this Disco Texas release, whipping up a nodding adventure in kaleidoscopic electronica. Far from a rave-up, it builds and builds to a tasty little finish.

Dash & Will -- Animal [UMA]

This could've been better. The little 'doo doo doo hook' works but Dash & Will don't seem particularly comfortable being pop stars. It's not dreadful, it's just... adequate. And nobody wants a hooky pop tune to be like a visit to Big W.

Lady Gaga -- Born This Way [UMA]

So Lady Gaga spent the last 12 months holed up in a German gay club listening to hard-floor remixes of Madonna and David Guetta? Actually, that's probably not far off for her. But anyway, this blows chunderous, cheesy chunks. And not in a good way.

Lupe Fiasco - The Show Goes On [Warner]

It would seem as though Lupe’s becoming the Kanye West of 2008 with his bravado snowballing into self-delusion. But even then Kanye wouldn’t have done something as crass as this. As infectious as the Float On melody may be, this is far too simple for someone of Lupe’s esteem. How far away is Guetta’s phone call?

Nicki Minaj - Moment 4 Life ft. Drake [UMA]

So this is quite great. For one the production is next level with the gentle piano intro and clapping snares working surprisingly well before getting a boos of strings-assisted grandeur. And then there’s Nicki Minaj who manages to light up whatever she touches and relegate Drake and his nasal drawl to just a flavour of the month MC in comparison.

The Strokes - Under Cover Of Darkness - [Sony BMG]

While it once appeared more likely that we’d hear Nick Valensi: Experience The Hair before a new Strokes LP here we are with the first taste of the NYC band’s Angles record in Under Cover Of Darkness. And it’s great. But you could’ve guessed that, right? Some decidedly roughshot production takes it back to the garage while Julian Casablancas playfully croons over some dueling guitar chunks. Welcome the fuck back!

The Holidays - Broken Bones [Liberation]

Floating breezily on some languid tropical vibes, Broken Bones somehow treads the line between synth ballad and indie pop stunner. No joke, this is a glorious mess of goodness.

Avril Lavigne - What The Hell [Sony BMG]

So Avril’s given up the punk chick masquerade and surrendered to being a legitimate pop brand. And yes, it works. Serious, The Veronicas wish they could do shit like this.

Jessie J - Do It Like A Dude [Universal]

Although it’s riding Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj’s fiery coattails,Do It Like A Dude is worth the fuss for its outrageous production and a ferocity seldom seen in pop music, let alone in the aforementioned artists. Props.

Justice Crew - Friday To Sunday [Sony BMG]

Okay, so they get an A for effort. Actually, let’s revise that to a B-. Because as hard as they’re trying to be some kind of ‘xtr3me’ dance crew boy band, Justice Crew cannot – and let’s face it will not – pull it off. Instead we’re left with a heavily manicured product that never quite delivers beyond a few ringtones and some reluctant fist pumping at Shooters. Wait, does Shooters still exist?

Katy Perry - E.T. [EMI]

Haters gonna hate, but Katy Perry is actually really great. She’s smart, seems grounded enough for a pop star and she makes some illicitly catchy music. Unfortunately E.T. is none of those things. It’s overwrought, hammy and really just a big misstep.

PNAU

Having caused all sorts of commotion with their strawberry poppin’, Baby-makin’ and Luke Steele resurrectin’ third album, Pnau, Australian electronic legends PNAU did the sensible thing and disappeared for a little while so as not to wear out their welcome with dance fans across the country (here’s looking at you, Sneaky Sound System).

To remove themselves from the spotlight, the band’s two creative heads Peter Mayes and Nick Littlemore retreated into studio hibernation on the other side of the world. But while their London base has been a boon for the band, when I get the enigmatic Mayes on the line for our interview the Pnau mastermind confesses that the pair have become seriously homesick.

“I’ve really been missing home, especially right now since it’s winter over here,” Mayes says while probably wearing a woolly turtleneck. “It’s actually snowing here, believe it or not! It’s like frosted candy and everything here. I’ve never seen it snow here before so it’s pretty amazing.”

Speaking about the move to the UK, Mayes explains that after touring the stuffing out of their last album in Australia he and Littlemore were after a change of scenery and took their studio sessions to dear old Blighty.

“We’ve been living here for a few years now and we think it’s really great,” the Pnau producer enthuses. “We’ve got a record deal over here now and we’re really excited about the new album. London’s also a really good place for musicians to come because I think it suits us very well! It’s always pretty cold so you end up spending all your time in the studio working. It makes a lot of sense.”

As well as discovering the delights of the Tube and having a decent test cricket team, in England the duo found a legendary mentor figure to help guide them through the making of their fourth album. Who am I talking about? Well, none other than Elton John. I shit you not.

“Elton’s become a very important part of our lives since we’ve been here. He took us under his wing a couple of years ago and really encouraged us to expand our horizons and to make this album as good as it is,” he says of the band’s relationship with their Rocket Man guru. “He was always there for us throughout the process to give us good advice or encourage us when we were ready to die. He’s just a legend. It’s really amazing to have someone like that in your corner all the way.”

It turns out that Elton’s involvement wasn’t as cursory as one might think with Mayes and Littlemore somehow resisting the chance to have their own private Elton John karaoke party and putting the piano tinkling heavyweight to work as a co-songwriter on some new songs.

“To be honest the last thing you do with Elton is get him to play his own tunes because he’s out there every night of his life playing those same songs. He works so hard. And it’d be a waste of his time with us to do that. When you’ve got Elton in the studio you’re writing furiously because he’ll write something in ten minutes. If he hasn’t nailed it in that time he’ll just move on. He’s amazing like that.”

If you’re playing at home that’s both the chilly surrounds of London and motherflipping Elton John as influences on the new Pnau record… which all sounds pretty insane and something that only they could do. So what the hell is it going to sound like then? Well, according to Mayes, the tentatively titled Soft Universe LP will be a bit like Pnau on steroids. All beefed up.

“I think we matured as songwriters on this one. We definitely grew on the last record but we got a lot better this time,” Mayes explains. “I feel like it’s more about melody… it’s a very vocal-heavy record, it’s not quite as ravey this time around. But it still has an inherent energy to it that I think a lot of people have come to expect from us. Even years ago when we were first starting out we never thought of ourselves as a dance band. We’ve never really flown that flag. But that said we can’t deny that we’ve always been influenced by electronic music from all eras. I think the dance community just moves too quickly for us to keep up with it. If you’re not actively keeping an eye on it then there’s no point trying to force yourself into that part of the scene. And we’ve always been more concerned with being a band that makes full albums from start to finish rather than guys that just make singles for clubs. We’re trying to make something more timeless.”

The first chance fans will get to taste this ‘timeless’ new record will be on the Big Day Out festival tour that’s about to wind around the country. That festival is already sacred ground for the band, who made their big fuzzy-suited comeback there in 2008 so Pnau seem naturally excited to unleash their new gems in 2011.

“Doing that festival definitely has a very large place in our hearts and I know it’s going to be a big homecoming for us,” Mayes offers. “This record is going to be very energetic and I think it’ll be best experienced live. We realised after the last album and after all the shows we did touring it that what we really loved was putting on a show for people. I want lots people to hear it and really feel it together with us. It’s got that kind of big, open stadium feel to it. There’s a lot of intense energy.”

Pnau are a part of the upcoming Big Day Out festival. Canberra’s closest leg is either of the Sydney shows, held on Wednesday-Thursday January 26-27. Some limited tickets are still available through the BDO website.

Kanye West & Jay-Z - H.A.M. (Universal)

Hard As A Motherfucker is about right with this. Sure it’s not the most palatable joint following Kanye’s beloved My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy but it’s a grandiose exercise in stunting with both ‘Ye and Jay doing just about whatever they want. And I’m pretty happy to follow them as they do that.

Bruno Mars - Grenade (Warner)

You know what the worst thing about pop music is? No, it’s not still having nightmares about Anastasia to this very day but rather it’s the ballads. Ballads. Who thought of this shit? Eugh. Cloying, overwrought and crass, Grenade sucks the life out of you, and not even in a good way. In a slow and painfully boring way. No surprise, it’s a big fucking hit.

Britney Spears - Hold It Against Me (Sony BMG)

The funniest part of this new Britney single is not Max Martin and Dr Luke having a poke at dubstep but rather that some Hollywood songwriter wrote a whole song out of that prehistoric pick up line. Other than that it scrapes a pass mark for being unflinchingly outrageous.

Adalita - Hot Air (Liberation)

For someone who seemed to be the poster girl for overly energetic Aussie rawkers, Magic Dirt’s main squeeze Adalita seems real bored these days. Six minutes of laconic noodling and the occasional wave of fuzz does not a song make, and that’s not even starting on Adalita’s sleepy tones.

Dave Ruby Howe's Top 10 Albums of 2010

10. Chromeo – Business Casual [Modular/UMA]

Chromeo hit it big with Business Casual, another homage to eras and keyboards gone by. As well as its awesomely poppy tunes Business Casual is all about the duo’s dexterity, throwing down some French-ed up sex jams and disco workouts.

9. Tanlines – Settings EP [True Panther Sounds]

Often instrumental, a little bit weird but always very entertaining, Tanlines have nailed a union of tropical beats and synths to create what I’m calling calypso-electro. Just go with it and enjoy.

8. LCD Soundsystem – This Is Happening [DFA/EMI]

James Murphy’s disco wonder-group conquered in 2010 with their third disc This Is Happening. Just try and stay still while Murphy and co blast their way through Dance Yrself Clean.

7. Wild Nothing – Gemini [Captured Tracks]

It’s embarrassing that all the immaculately staged haziness of Gemini comes from the mind of just one dude, but indeed Wild Nothing manages to layer his dream-pop leanings into oblivion while keeping it ever so cinematic.

6. Bag Raiders – Bag Raiders [Modular/UMA]

It feels like I’ve been saying that ‘next year’ will be the big one for Bag Raiders for about four years now, but I’m pleased to say I was right, as they definitely were untouchable in 2010. Smart but always fun, clubby but still listenable, this album is awash with treasures.

5. Dom – Sun Bronzed Greek Gods EP [Burning Mill Records]

Dom, the eponymous leader of his band, is kinda like the Tweet generation’s Holden Caulfield. Snotty, self-important and already world weary, he’s incredibly cool and just like Catcher In The Rye was in Year 11, he’s essential reading listening.

4. The Drums – The Drums [Moshi Moshi/Shock]

Full of jubilant, whimsical, surfy, poppy, garage-y indie rock, all you really need to know is that this is heaps of fun, and now that the weather’s warmed up it’s a perfect summer record.

3. The Radio Dept. – Clinging To A Scheme [Labrador]

While everyone else in Sweden gets off making ridiculously happy music, The Radio Dept. took a further dive into the shadows with another achingly good record of nights on the couch and bruised emotions.

2. Tame Impala – Innerspeaker [Modular/UMA]

Dropouts ripping bowls in a feedback loop doesn’t sound like fun, but damn. Damn. This is an incredible record. Almost dripping in ideas and ambition it’s immersive listening.

1. Kanye West – My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy [Def Jam/UMA]

Forget the BS, hearing is believing. And once you hear Kanye’s comeback record, you’ll believe it too: Kanye West is easily the most magnetic, entertaining and forward thinking rapper working today.

The Naked And Famous - Punching In A Dream [UMA]

Awash with distorted electro flashes and some awesomely big, pounding beats, Punching In A Dream manages to not just carry the torch from Passion Pit, MGMT (first album that is), et al but to steal that torch, light a durry with it, jump on a skate board and do a triple summersault off a bridge onto a passing speedboat made out of Skittles. Yeah, it’s pretty fucking cool.

Rihanna ft. Drake - What’s My Name? [Def Jam/UMA]

Caribbean trance pop? And it’s popular? Oh yeah, it’s got Rihanna and Drake on it, but I swear if there was no ‘star power’ to this it wouldn’t go anywhere. Which is a good thing, because for a chart hit What’s My Name? is really kinda weird. And actually pretty decent.

Altiyan Childs - Somewhere In The World [Sony BMG]

Congratulations X-Factor voters, you’ve just created the next JD Fortune. That must feel special.

Art vs Science - Finally See Our Way [Independent]

More wordy than anything they’ve ever done before, Finally See Our Way finds AvS also going more epic than ever before with some overdone synth atmospherics, training montage synth-solo and uh, some extra crunchy synths as well. Sure it’s a bit ‘Juggernauts-y but it’s a good change of pace for these merry pranksters.

Kanye West - All Of The Lights [Def Jam/UMA]

When Kanye West calls, you fucking answer. And when you show up to the studio and its like a condensed version of We Are The World you don’t complain, you just belt out your part and hope that Alicia Keys’ warbling doesn’t drown you out on the final mix. And so, the assembled mass of talent including Fergie, Kid Cudi, The-Dream, Rihanna and even Elton John play entourage duties to the main event, Kanye, who stomps out the pop tune of the summer.

Holy Ghost! - Say My Name [DFA]

It’s likely the most un-immediate thing that disco dudes Holy Ghost! have ever done, but given time Say My Name will creep up on you and have you moving your hips like a stereotyped Hawaiian girl. And it certainly doesn’t hurt to have a grooved-out Revenge version on the flip either.

Aeroplane - Without Lies [Balance Music/EMI]

As shittily disappointing as the Aeroplane album was/is, latest cut Without Lies is one of the few good things in amongst the cheese tasting plate. A subdued vocal take from Sky Ferreira and a constant synth throb keeps your head nodding for an all too brief two minutes. Hunt it down for the Breakbot remix and thank me later.

Mark Ronson & The Business Intl. - Somebody To Love Me ft. Boy George & Andrew Wyatt (Sony BMG)

Unassuming on first listen, Mark Ronson’s latest gem Somebody To Love Me will have you deep in swoonsville after a couple of spins, I guarantee it. Once again Ronson demonstrates his frighteningly good knack for a good guest list, picking up Miike Snow’s Andrew Wyatt for the falsetto hook and Boy George for a surprisingly stirring turn, perfectly embodying the sallow-eyed romantic at the song’s core. If only all pop music was this great.

Little Comets - Isles (Dirty Hit)

With a stuffy-nosed frontman and ridged and ragged guitar chugs you could be excused for passing Little Comets off as an also-ran Brit-pop band behind The Wombats, The Maccabees, et al, but there’s a lick of spark to these kids that make them well worth checking out. In particular, Isles finds ‘em all sombre, rueing their British heritage and Blighty’s infinite council flats and murky skylines. It’s a helluva two minutes.

Black Eyed Peas - The Time (The Dirty Bit) (UMA)

The big thing for Will.i.Am and his ‘Peas is that they’re doing futuristic pop. Alright, I’ll pay that. But the future they’re from is a pretty fucking dreadful one. It’s like Back To The Future II where Biff has the sports almanac and runs the shit and now he’s got Pea-bots and Tranny Fergie-bots that can only make music by mixing lazy samples with woefulxs Dutch house.

Pink - Raise Your Glass (Sony BMG)

Pink is the source of a lot of adolescent trauma for me. I remember my sister was turning, maybe, 17 or 18 and she wanted me to get her Pink’s M!ssundaztood as a present. Brutal, right? So I carted off to Big W in Woden, ambled up to the electronics section and reticently grabbed a jewel-case copy of that shit and shuffled nervously over to the counter like an old sleaze buying porn at the news agency. The clerk just looked at me, a mixture of disgust and sympathy scrawled across his face. All I could do was stammer a faint “it’s not for me”, but I knew the damage had already been done. Alexis Ruby Howe and her co-conspirator Pink had obliterated whatever social standing I may’ve had at Big W Woden and to this day I can’t step foot in there without experiencing painful flashbacks like a Vietnam vet. The moral of this story should be pretty clear by now; basically, Pink is shit.

Katy Perry - Firework (EMI)

It’s kinda frightening how much I’ve enjoyed Katy Perry’s 2010 output, but the long and short of it is that these tunes are just great pop music, and there’s nothing wrong with plastic fun when it’s done right. Sure Perry could tone down the warbling here on Firework but it’s still quite a jam with surprisingly banging beats and you will no doubt hear this everywhere you go soon enough.

Miami Horror - Holidays (EMI)

Make no mistake, the Miami Horror album is filled with little electro-pop treasures but when it comes to new single Holidays, everything else can suck a dick. This track is next level. Everything just clicks so well. The choppy disco guitars, the striptease synth-bass and Neon Indian’s chant-ready guest vocals. This will be your summer.

Digitalism - Blitz (Kitsune)

2007 was pretty awesome, wasn’t it? Acts like MSTRKRFT and Justice ruled the world and in particular we were all vibing on the punchy electro tunes of Germany’s Digitalism. Since then that movement has kind’ve died in the arse, but I’m actually genuinely excited for some new Digitalism. They’ve always been meticulous in their production and Blitz is no exception, packing a walloping bassline, frantic synth hook and a nice touch of atmospherics. The lack of vocals holds this one back from having the impact that it should, but it’s definitely a welcome return.

Will.i.am ft. Nicki Minaj - Check It Out (UMA)

Will.i.am is a smart dude who has managed to turn modern urban music into a futuristic game of Outrun with himself in the lead. But the dude is not a genius, as evidenced by this bomb (in a bad way) of a tune. That chorus is nauseating, Nicki Minaj is wasted here and the sample is just fucking lazy. That said, the guy’s going to make a stack of this trash as well. Pretty smart, no?

Starsmith - Give Me A Break (Neon Gold/Island)

The whole producer going solo schtick has become rather worrisome of late thanks to the over-saturated turns of Timbaland and David Guetta wanting to be stars in their own rights, but next kid out of the block, Starsmith, should hopefully have more luck and be a little easier on the ears. Producer du jour for Ellie Goulding and a swag of other UK types, 22 year old Starsmith steps out on his own here with a punchy slice of stadium electro. The diva vocals kind of clip the personality of the tune but in the end it’s a pretty ecstatic jam that’s ready for summer.

Rihanna - Only Girl (In The World) (UMA)

So Rihanna’s back to making tracks for Mooseheads now, huh? Fair enough, and this is probably better than anything off of Rated R, but it’s hardly exciting with its epic-by-numbers Stargate production, production line lyrics and Rihanna’s shitefully shrill wailings.

Chiddy Bang - The Good Life (EMI)

Thankfully for, well, everyone Pharrell has stepped in and told Chiddy Bang, ‘hey, maybe don’t sample an indie track this time ‘round?’ and polished these hipsters into something that’s more palatable and interesting than it is of the moment. Sheesh.

Ou Est Le Swimming - Jackson’s Last Stand [Ministry of Sound/UMA]

A bubbling arpeggio setting the pace, turbo charged beats and energetic and yelping vocals. It’s all good. But, you might get the feeling that you’ve heard it all before. Because you have. It’s a very close cousin to Ou Est Le Swimming Pool’s last big jam Dance The Way I Feel. But in the end that’s fine because the original was fun, and so is this.

Nelly - Just A Dream [UMA]

LOL, remember Nelly? Once upon a time Nelly was the shit. After Country Grammar the dude had that album Nellyville with Hot In Herre, Dilemma and #1. That’s some serious fire. Then came the slide into coke-bloat excess with that double album and Nelly just never recovered from being a weird cartoon crossover rapper that nobody will take seriously again. And although this is decent, it’s just the ghost of something memorable.

Lady Gaga - Dance In The Dark [UMA]

Well Bad Romance was a pretty listenable slice of club-pop bombast, Telephone was cheeky goodness, and Alejandro was passable enough. But holy shit this is just woeful and hands down the shittiest thing to exit Lady Gaga’s mouth. And that includes Chillin’.

Kris Menace Swarm [Size Records]

Kris Menace can pretty much do it all. Whether he’s throwing down some silky smooth French house with mates like Alan Braxe and Fred Falke, upping the tech factor for some extended club tunes, or dropping a massive house belter like this. Flipped with Lockhead on the other side, this is a tasty little pack.

Linkin Park

Knowing their target audience of pent up white dudes ever so well, Linkin Park throw all their tricks into the mix like they’re going out of business. That of course means more yelling, more emo angst, more white-guy rapping and more wannabe NIN electronics than ever before. Michael Bay will fucking love this shit.

Muscles

Say what we will about Muscles - and I’ve said a libelous amount myself - I’m actually really glad this troublemaker is back. The time off has only made him stranger and so now he’s on some kind of futuristic Hi-NRG electro trip. The vocals are grating but as a whole this is actually a lot of fun. Sure the initial fascination in him has waned like a kid with a stray dog before they get tired of it shitting on the carpet, but Muscles was never meant to be a well loved pinup; he’s better when he’s the oddball outsider. Welcome back, you wonderful lunatic.

Kylie

Why isn’t Kylie bigger than Madonna? Madonna releases drivel these days, yet Kylie manages to strangely stay ahead of the pack by aligning herself with great producers and writers. As such Get Outta My Way is a compact little gem of pop, bouncy and instantly catchy. And there’re no zombie arms in sight.

Cee-Lo Green

If there’s anyone I’d love to hear more of on commercial radio it’s Cee Lo Green. Dude has an incredible voice and charisma oozing out his pores and Fuck You marks his big leap to the spotlight. But, and there is a but, as jaunty and infectious as this is, it’s also pretty harmless. Enjoy this now before 70 year olds start calling it ‘funky’ and grooving to it like Hey Ya 2010.

Train - If It’s Love [Sony BMG]

Train make brain-destroyingly simple songs. Therefore, I’ll make this as simple as possible. Train, you suck. Seeya.

Mike Posner - Cooler Than Me [Sony BMG]

Don’t be fooled by this. Yes, there’s an expensive and actually kinda, sorta, maybe okay production going on, but over it you’ve got Mike Posner, squeezing out some daft lyrics. This dude is painfully white. He’s like a taller and Justin Bieber without the mop top.

Midnight Juggernauts - Lifeblood Flow [Siberia Records / Inertia]

An early stand-out from the band’s latest epic The Crystal Axis, Lifeblood Flow finds Midnight Juggernauts in a slightly poppy mood not seen since something like Shadows with its instantly sing-along chorus, wavey space synths and rumbling bassline. Expect to hear this one a lot as summer creeps in.

Gonzales - I Am Europe [Boys Noize Records]

Gonzales has always been a master of oddball awesomeness but I Am Europe may be a whole new level for the piano man. It’s got bonkers lines like “I’m a dog shit ashtray”, it’s part of the soundtrack for Gonzales’ own feature film about chess battling brothers, Ivory Tower, it sounds like a long-lost montage jam for Rocky IV and it’s produced by Boys Noize. It may sound insane but I assure it’s genius.

Duck Sauce - Barbra Streisand [etcetc]

The near six-month wait for this track hasn’t diminished its impact on arrival in the slightest. Just like aNYway ruled the clubs last year, Duck Sauce will once again be smashed through speakers everywhere with Barbra Streisand and its infectious loops of disco-house loveliness.

The Count & Sinden ft. Mystery Jets – After Dark [Domino/EMI]

This is wonderful. After spending so long making dense bangers, Herve and Sinden craft this really rich, groove-ridden and soulful track for Mystery Jets to do their thing on, which of course involves injecting a good dose of psychedelic pop into things. It’s genius.

Maroon 5 – Misery [UMA]

Like if the Bee Gees had Twitter.

Flo Rida ft. David Guetta – Club Can’t Handle Me [Warner]

I think if you told Flo Rida that jaunty polka-house or Chinese opera was going to be big next month he would be all over that stuff like stink on a turd. And so now that everyone is trying to make dance music, ol' Flo decided to jump in on it too. And of course David Guetta is more than happy to shell out this (actually decent) beat that he made in an afternoon in between Skype sessions with Akon. Just like a frozen pizza, this is cheap and loaded with artificial cheese.

Brandon Flowers – Crossfire [UMA]

What does Brandon Flowers sound like without the rest of his Killers entourage? Still pretty much the same, actually. Crossfire still has the buried electronics, plaintive lyrics and ripping riffs of a Killers song, but it’s all meshed in with an earnest down-home feel. So yeah, Sam’s Town was his doing.

Kelis - 4th of July (Interscope/UMA)

Though this is better than the Guetta-polished turd that was Acapella, Kelis’ latest attempt to legitimise her dancefloor rebirth still sounds a bit clunky. Maybe it’s just her strained voice. Yeah, that’s probably it. But because Kelis is a boss nobody will tell her otherwise, so props for trying.

Cut Copy - Where I’m Going (Modular/UMA)

I’m not sure anyone was expecting this. Local dance troupe Cut Copy have traded in the layered electronics of In Ghost Colours for, err, some psychedelic Brit-pop? It sounds odd on paper, and actually it is odd on first listen. But Cut Copy do it in their own inimitable style that it sounds super natural for the band. And there’s still some bubbling synths fused with all the guitars, organs, handclaps and infectious woo-ooo’s, so it’s hard not to love, really.

Cody Simpson - iYiYiY ft. Flo Rida (Atlantic/Warner)

Jeez, I never thought that I’d be defending Justin Bieber’s turf, but here I am. It’s not that I have any issue with success, but this is a bald-faced and scarily dirty cash in on the unfortunate tidal wave of Bieber-fever. Some record executive has just swooped on an ordinary (and obviously talented) little boy, thrown some cash at him and saddled him with hip-hop’s Jim Crow, Flo Rida, in the hope of repeating Bieber’s recent rise to stardom. It’s the same thing, people. Except that Cody Simpson is just 13, even pre-er prepubescent. Our world is fucked.

Art Vs Science - Magic Fountain (Independent)

This will be huge, no question about that. It’s got the big, thick keyboard riffs to shake plenty of bodies and the easy call-and-response vocals that’ll be chanted hoarsely at festivals for the next year. And good on ‘em, they’re full of energy and this is another winner. But they’re veering dangerously close to becoming the Muse of electro. Just sayin’.

Uncle Kracker - Smile (Warner)

So last month we saw Train rise from the grave and now Uncle Kracker has re-emerged from his Winnebago to bless us with this middling musical shit smear. Wow. And much like the Channel 7 show it’s currently being used to spruik, this is nauseatingly bland. Do not want.

Ou Est Le Swimming Pool - Dance The Way I Feel (MOS/UMA)

You’d think I’d love this. I thought I’d love it. But I really don’t. There’s nothing particularly bad about it, the synths are bubbly and the hook is totally infectious but who are these guys kidding? This feels like trend-following. It feels obvious. They’re about one guy-liner stick short of being the next Bravery.

Klaxons - Echoes (Modular/UMA)

Already people are coming out of the woodwork to sign the death certificate of those nefarious ex-new-ravers, Klaxons. Why? This really isn’t that far removed from anything off of Myths Of The Near Future, but still people are whining. I, for one, dig it. It’s still wonderfully odd but now has some added production grunt, sure to win over some heavier-leaning listeners. Haters gonna hate.

Chromeo - Don’t Turn The Lights On (Modular/UMA)

Although they’ll forever be unfairly dismissed by casual listeners as a retro-novelty two piece, nothing can ever stop Chromeo from doing what they do best. Bringing the mother-effing smooth. This slow-jam is a little Oliver Cheatham, a little Lionel Richie, a little Jan Hammer and all awesome. This is what you need.

3OH!3 - My First Kiss ft. Ke$ha (Warner

I honestly hope that anyone who has their first kiss whilst listening to this puddle of musical splooge will also be having their last kiss at the same time.

Shakira ft. Freshlyground Waka Waka - (This Time For Africa) (Live Nation)

The good thing about this round of the World Cup is that there’s room for some, gasp, creativity in the songwriting, and so perhaps best of the bunch, Shakira’s official track of the World Cup pinches little bites of instrumentation and style from Afro music, blending it with the pop standard of ringtone synths and big beats. It’s weird but it actually kind of works. So expect to hear Vampire Weekend jacking this next.

Rogue Traders - Heart Beats As One (Sony BMG)

Oh dear, they may as well have booked Con the Fruiterer to do the Australian ‘Cup ‘anthem’ as Rogue Traders are about as relevant as some dork still continuing to say “so hot right now.” Would these guys just hurry up and join End Of Fashion as the discarded dishwater from 2005 already? Plz.

Dizzee Rascal & James Corden - Shout For England (Sony BMG)

Is this the epitome of a head-pummellingly dubious World Cup single? Well, let’s refer to our checklist. Likeable star: check. Multiple soccer references: check. Uber-basic chorus: duh-bel check. Will we remember this in, oh, let’s say four weeks time? Definitely not.

Akon ft. Keri Hilson - Oh Africa (Universal)

Can you say World Cup special edition? Hells yes! As is the case every four years, the music biz does its best to cash in on the swelling nationalism and pump out some official ‘anthems.’ What Akon has to do with the world game is beyond me, but I’ll give credit to anybody brave/dumb enough to mix tribal drum circles with bland auto-tune. *slow clap*

Karton - We Bleed (Sound Of Habib)

Damn, these Canberra boys know how to party. Sprucing up their sound with some banging electro bells and whistles, Karton have put together an absolute burner of a single that in a just world would shoot them to the top of everyone’s 2010 radar. Whatever peoples’ reaction to this tune, it’s pretty clear that Karton are giving The Aston Shuffle a run for their money as Canberra’s finest export.

Matt Van Schie - Journey (Bandroom Records)

Van She bro Matt Van Schie steps out on his own with his latest solo single Journey and holy shit if it isn’t better than anything from his main band’s last record! This is pristine synth-pop brilliance, cruising by on a wave of soft keys, nodding beats and cooed vocals. Smoother than smooth.

Scissor Sisters - Invisible Light (UMA)

This is pretty typical giddy pop cheese from Scissor Sisters with some foreboding spoken word thrown in for kicks. But who cares a lick about the original when you’ve got not only Stuart Price but also Boys Noize and Siriusmo on remix duties? Boys Noize may take the win with his cosmic-banger re-rub, but which ever one is your flavour, you can bet these will be invading dancefloors in no time.

The Radio Dept. - Never Follow Suit (Labrador)

After bouncing around in studio limbo for a year or three, Swedish geniuses The Radio Dept. are finally back in 2010 and Never Follow Suit is the latest cut from their third LP Clinging To A Scheme. As you’d expect from the dour Swedes, this turns up the ‘brrr’ factor, with some chilly, woozy synthesizers, stuttering drum machines and a Jay-Z sample all mixed up together into one extremely narcotic cocktail.

Teenagersintokyo - End It Tonight (Backyard)

This will be at least the third time that this jam gets released as a single and although that kind of label pushing isn’t ideal, a spade is still a spade and a good tune is still a good tune. And this is a great tune. Even better is it’s not got an extra beefy production courtesy of Dave Kosten. Now let’s put it to bed and get to the new stuff!

Jamaica - I Think I Like U 2 (Independent)

Formerly a three-piece known as Poney Poney, the Jamaica dudes have slimmed down to a duo, and also sworn off using synthesizers in the studio. So that means we’ve still got the same hooky songwriting, touched up with Justice production, but now based on bombastic garage pop. Count me in.

Foals - This Orient (Warner)

Abandoning the jerky, disjointed post-punk of their debut album, Foals’ new single sees the UK lads exploring fresh terrain and discovering joyous synth-driven anthems along the way. This has some euphoric builds and exciting, spacious production and is convincing enough to at last let go of Hummer.

The Juan MacLean - Feel So Good (!K7)

I tend to take the approach with life that any Juan MacLean is better than nothing. So although this new cut from the Juan DJ Kicks comp is the band rushing through Studio 54 ready prog-disco (now a genre, okay) in their sleep, it’s still pretty remarkable.

Uffie - ADD SUV ft. Pharrell (Ed Banger)

The good: Mirwais’ futuristic and funky production and Pharrell’s verse is surprisingly tight. The bad: Uffie. What happened to this girl? I know Ke$ha swiped her style but she just sounds totally neutered on this.

Miami Horror - Moon Theory (EMI)

This could essentially be a whole new act because it’s a bold departure from the glitzy electro fun of early Miami Horror, instead embracing some Australian strain of the widescreen synth-pop virus. That includes acoustic guitars and atmospheric sweeps. And at this stage I think that’s good thing.

Crystal Castles - Celestica (Shock)

After an agonising studio break, Canada’s chiptune doom squad Crystal Castles return to the fray with what could be their most layered, thoughtful single yet. Celestica still has that classic Crystal Castles feel of 8-bit flourishes and effects overload, but here it’s kind of all restrained and more considerate. Especially with Alice’s actually sung vocals. Don’t expect them to stick with this for long but it’s great while it lasts.

Big Boi - Shutterbug

Who needs a new Outkast album when we’ve got goodies like this? Big Boi is furiously fast on the mic whilst Scott Storch rocks his best production in years. It won’t make a dent over here but it bloody well should.

The Drums Best Friend (Popfrenzy)

God damn these guys are brilliant. If there’s any band that will rule your year in 2010 it’s The Drums and Best Friend is a perfect indication of why. Fun, tight little pop songs that pile on the surf-rock aesthetics and unshakeable melodies. Whilst this isn’t as instantaneous as their whistle-toting Summertime EP, it’s just as entertaining so get them into your world.

The Aston Shuffle I Wanna See You (Ministry Of Sound)

Canberra’s own golden boys The Aston Shuffle hit back with another blast of undeniably energetic electro, featuring a delightful mess of jumping synth squiggles, glitchy vocoders and pounding beats. This is fire.

Owl City Vanilla Twilight (UMA)

Does the dude pulling the strings behind Owl Shitty not realise the irony of naming a tune Vanilla Twilight? Because, newsflash, this is even more bland and cruddy than Fireflies. Either all his fans are constantly getting punk’d or he’s really the most overly earnest white simpleton on Earth. Both would work, though.

Kelis - Apace (UMA)

Wow, I never realised just how awful Kelis’ voice was. Bossy was pretty awesome, but when it comes to actually singing over radio-baiting Guetta production like this, well, she just really sounds like shit. Like, I feel bad for her levels of shit.

Flight Facilities - Crave You ft. Giselle (Bang Gang 12 Inches)

Single of the week? Month? Year? It kinda is all of those actually. It begins unassumingly with some laidback piano chords and loungey beats before transforming into a truly gorgeous slow burner of a dance jam, with gurgling bass and an honest to goodness sax solo. Damn. You need this.

Wolf Gang - Back To Back (Independent)

So this band can do no wrong. After the joyous The King And All Of His Men single from last year, Wolf Gang hit back with a curveball slow-jam, Back To Back. It’s all trembling guitars, echoed-out falsetto coos and silky smooth vibes. As ever I’m expecting big things from these guys this year, and they’ve got the goods to deliver.

Kavinsky - Nightcall ft. Lovefoxxx (Record Makers)

Kavinsky is at his best when he’s applying his zombie-synth sounds with his friends and in the case of Nightcall he’s in very good company. Produced with the help of Daft Punk’s golden-helmeted Guy-Man and with CSS’s Lovefoxxx on vocals, this tune is a quietly thumping electro ballad filled with enough soft synths to make Moroder jealous.

Justin Bieber - Baby ft. Ludacris (UMA)

I have to ask, who is buying this? Tweens sure, but who else? Because this is such a cheesy slice of mawkish vanilla pop that I seriously feel pity for anyone over the age of 16 that is enjoying this.

Itch-E & Scratch-E - Other Planets (Hussle)

After ten years on the sidelines, Itch-E & Scratch-E have dusted off their rave gear for one hell of a comeback. And naturally they’re up to their old tricks with Other Planets, a bouncy ode to the weird and wonderful fans the duo have developed over the years. Age shall not weary them. Rave on dudes.

Cascada - Pyromania (UMA)

Bombastic production, cheese-ball electronics, dubious ESL sloganeering; yep, Euro-dance is back. I for one welcome our new Euro-schlock overlords, if only for the Vengaboys reunion tour that’s sure to eventuate.

Timbaland - Carry Out ft. Justin Timberlake (UMA)

These two ‘Timb’s are best when they’re chilling together in the studio, pushing one another to do something interesting, and thankfully Justin took some time out from snuggling Jessica Biel to give his pal a hook up. Expect three minutes of syrupy smooth choruses, cowbells galore and some weird food-based sexual fetishes. So basically it’s pretty awesome.

Penguin Prison - The Worse It Gets (Neon Gold)

Ignore the terrible name – yeah, it is terrible – and focus on the tuneage here. Penguin Prison comes off like JT’s indie loving cousin, obsessed with bedroom-built synth pop and grooving guitar lines. And just as you’d hope, his knack for a hook is incredible. This is fire.

Black Eyed Peas - Imma Be/Rocking That Body (UMA)

Wedged together as two singles for total Video Hits domination, the latest move by the Black Eyed Peas to sodomise their original fans is one of their greatest. Will.I.Am goes bonkers on the pitch shifted vocals (dude, we get it already), Fergzilla tramples the small township of Taste-ville, and oh, wait, there are two other members in the band? No kidding. Inescapable, but you know, so was the plague and right now I don’t see a difference.

Hystereo - Cityspeak (Bang Gang 12 Inches)

Well, damn. This is just an out and out stomper. Having teamed up with local heroes the Bang Gang for a new EP, Hystereo drop six minutes of blissful banging electro that’s more down-tuned Casio chords and pummelling beats than you’ll ever need. You should probably OD on this today.

Two Door Cinema Club - Undercover Martyn (Kitsune)

I honestly cannot stop going on about these kids. After two brilliant singles they’re back and kicking off their debut album. Sure, Undercover Martyn isn’t as strong as past jams, but it’s still a deliriously upbeat bit of stylish garage-pop and kicks the butt of any other song you’ll hear after it. Unless you press repeat, that is.

Marina & The Diamonds - Hollywood (Warner)

Marina finally comes into the light with her Hollywood; a gleeful mix of bouncy piano, lustrous production and of course Marina’s bright lyrics delivered in her twisted operatic style. It’d be easy to put her down as the latest Kate Bush wannabe, but she spins her own style and it’s very special to hear.

Ke$ha - Blah Blah Blah (Sony BMG)

Despite any lingering good will she might’ve had for Tik Tok, which was admittedly insanely catchy, that chick with the dollar sign in her name has officially outstayed her welcome with new single Blah Blah Blah which simply regurgitates the hard-drinking, hard-partying electro rap that worked so well the first time. $eeya.

Goldfrapp - Rocket (EMI)

For those of us that loved the electro, Black Cherry version of Goldfrapp, last album Seventh Tree was a bit of a fizzler. But it would seem as though Goldfrapp have got their groove back, or at least their platform boots as comeback single Rocket shoots along on glitter-lined clouds of smooth ‘80s synth-pop. It’s cheery as hell and it feels damn good.

Timbaland ft. Katy Perry - If We Ever Meet Again (UMA)

Oh, so he’s got a song with Katy Perry now? And I need to review it? Uh huh, sure, just give me a minute, I’ll get onto that one. *blows brains out*

Ellie Goulding - Starry Eyed (Parlophone)

In the blink of an eye UK charmstress Ellie Goulding has gone from pub troubadour to indie pop princess with a major label deal. She owes a bit to the golden touch of synth-whiz producer Starsmith who’s sprinkled all sorts of magic over Ellie’s latest and strongest single, Starry Eyed. Whirring electronics, cut up vox and hooks galore, this is brilliant stuff.

Yeasayer - O.N.E. (Spunk)

On the back of Ambling Alp comes newie single O.N.E. packing more of the band’s gift for delightful electronic oddities. Mixing off-kilter synths, drum circles and screwed vocals, it’s like an Animal Collective you’ll (actually) dance to! 2010 is surely the year for these clever Brooklynites to hit the big time.

LMFAO - Shots (UMG)

I’ve said all that really needs to be said about the colossal douches known as LMFAO so ragging on them further is all but meaningless. But Shots is just so goddamn dreadful that I’d put my head through a brick wall just to let you know that, and one day soon these dipshits will be debunked from their shutter-shade encrusted throne when the Frat kids graduate. Until then, I can wait.

Iyaz - Replay (Warner)

Who the hell is Iyaz? Fucked if I know. But let’s just consider him 2010’s version of Kevin Lyttle, so he’ll disappear in about three minutes.

Stan Walker - Black Box (Sony BMG)

Shakira - Did It Again (Sony BMG)

30 Seconds To Mars - Kings And Queens (EMI)

Curse Jared Leto and his 30STM cronies, sometimes they just nail it. Sure I can do cartwheeling eye rolls for their unwavering earnestness and self-importance, but when they make something this big, this ‘anthemic,’ I just can’t resist ‘em. Thankfully I know that the skyscraper hooks will soon fade for some second rate sludge soon enough and we can all go back to fobbing them off.

Penguin Prison - Animal Animal (Neon Gold)

Lady GaGa - Bad Romance (UMA)

Par for the course with GaGa, Bad Romance spreads its tentacles wide, ensnaring some industrial beats, Euro-cheese rave synths, art-club aesthetics and the requisite Madonna flourishes for something that’s never greater than the sum of its parts. Pity.

Jay-Z ft.Alicia Keys - Empire State Of Mind (Warner)

Ke$ha - Tik Tok (Sony BMG)

Wolf Gang - The King And All Of His Men (Hit Club)

Some indie at last! Well, kinda. When you think about it, this is just pop. From the pillowy synth flourishes right down to the irrepressible vocal harmonies, it's pretty much perfect. If there is any justice in the world you can expect to hear their name a lot next year.

Timbaland ft. Nelly Furtado & SoShy - Morning After Dark (Universal)

Following my serious Timbo-binge of 2006, it's been a pretty lousy run of material from the US beatsmith. And from this first taste of Shock Value 2 - which features Miley Cyrus and Nickelback no less - it's looking like it'll stay that way. There's nothing too wrong with this. It jumps where you'd expect, the synths are super shiny, but it feels old already, nothing like the futuristic Timbaland of yesteryear.

50 Cent ft. Ne-Yo - Baby By Me (Universal)

Fifty is a curious dude. Often caving into formulaic gangsta tracks, the dude does himself a disservice, squandering his own clear savvy and charisma. Baby By Me treads the line between those two worlds, with Fiddy jocking plenty of swagger about his implied sexual potency over some pretty interesting production. I'll take this over 3OH!3 any day.

3OH!3 ft. Katy Perry - Starstrukk (Warner)

Sure, ragging on these arsewipes is like shooting fish in a really tiny barrel, but damn they deserve it. They spew their flaccid rhymes over some equally unappealing schlock 'n' horror electro beats, even managing to waste any lingering cred Katy Perry might've had from Hot & Cold.

Snoop Dogg ft. The-Dream - Gangsta Luv (Interscope)

It's tough to believe that Snoop Dogg can pop a boner in amongst that wave of bong haze, yet here he is, jamming with a new ode to the booty. Despite an always hot guest spot from The-Dream, Snoop sounds about as street as Paul Giamatti these days.

Snoop Dogg ft. The-Dream - Gangsta Luv (Interscope)

It's tough to believe that Snoop Dogg can pop a boner in amongst that wave of bong haze, yet here he is, jamming with a new ode to the booty. Despite an always hot guest spot from The-Dream, Snoop sounds about as street as Paul Giamatti these days.

Midnight Juggernauts - This New Technology (Siberia)

After over a year in the wilderness, Midnight Juggernauts are back, but not as we knew them. They seem more charged-up than ever, rocking along on a thumping beat and raw Morricone guitar chills. A curveball to be sure, but it's a pleasure to have them back.

Michael Jackson - This Is It (Sony BMG)

It'd be understandable for this to suck. Post-death releases are never much more than a cash grab and MJ's twilight years didn't exactly produce much great material. Yet it doesn't suck. Indeed, it's pleasant in a restrained, smoothed-out kind of way. Let's hope the upcoming deluge of posthumous releases holds up to this.

Florence & The Machine - You’ve Got The Love (UMA)

Being a cover, this is a weird choice for a single (tell me that Cosmic Love wouldn't be far better), but as with everything else she does, Florence dresses things up with impeccable production and style. Cover be damned, this is unique.

Phoenix - Fences (Shock)

Phoenix's latest record, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is a miracle album, kind of like the heartthrob-indie version of Thriller in that every tune is single-ready. To continue that questionable metaphor, Fences is then like the Billie Jean of the record, intriguing in its languid simplicity, but irresistible in the end. You should definitely love this.

LMFAO - I'm In Miami Trick (UMA)

As their name would suggest, LMFAO are a product of the internet age. As such, their steez is riddled with off-the-moment trappings, from the farty electro backing track, will.i.am hook ups and bone-headed lyrics. Of course, they don't give a shit about displaying even an iota of credibility, instead content to coast by on this lazy, and basically kinda juvenile junk. If this is what youthful apathy is going to bring us, well then people, it's time to start caring. 

Julian Casablancas - 11th Dimension (RCA)

It's been a long wait for a new Strokes album, but as the members move onto their fourth solo offshoot with Julian Casablancas' Phrazes For The Young it looks like we've got the next best thing. It's got some classic razor-edged garage guitars to it, but 11th Dimension veers off traditional Strokes course with its emphasis on casio synths and some particularly funked-up rhythms. Whilst we'll inevitably compare it The Strokes' back catalogue, this stands triumphantly on its own. 

Glee Cast - Don't Stop Believing (Sony BMG)

This is charting? Awesome. We should be pleased. Not only because it means Steve Perry is somewhere out there getting a fresh colour treatment to his 'do, but also because this actually kicks arse. Imagine all those all those awesome acapella/choir videos you waste time watching on YouTube and the crank up the production values and theatrics and you've got yourself some spine-tinglingly good stuff. 

Ladyhawke - Magic [Modular]

The 'hawke would lose some points for sheer single overload if this new (and thankfully last) single from her album wasn't so damn great. But um, maybe work on some new material now? KTHXBAI.

Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me [UMA]

No, it's not because of any post-Kanye sympathy or even my unflinching love for banjos, I genuinely like this song and moreover, Taylor Swift. She's talented, people. She really is. And even though this is blushing country stuff, it's hooky, pointed and overall, undeniably endearing. So there. Did I just jump the shark?

Empire Of The Sun - Without You [EMI]

It's no secret that I'm a sucker for the works of Luke Steele. Dude is like a modern version of Brian Wilson, a little crazier but no less ambitious in his perfectly constructed pop gems. As such, he's prone to the overblown, but thankfully he keeps the reigns on this new version of Without You, keeping it simple (ish) and turning up the cruise-boat summer vibe. Nice.

Black Eyed Peas - Meet Me Halfway [UMA]

Is the mainstream record buying public fucking drunk or something? Because you'd have to be pretty damn loaded to enjoy this. For reals, this is utter trash. Fergie sounds like, scratch that, IS some washed up '90s diva, and will.i.am's electro affections sound like nonsense. When will the hurting stop?

Tiga

TIGA, Canada's enduring techno-meets-electro dandy, has come a long way since the beginning of his career in the music business. Back then Tiga was on the other side of the decks, running his own DNA record store and promoting a slew of parties before turning his attention to producing and DJing. Now, as he's preparing to skip out on the Parklife Festival tour to hit Canberra's 360 show, Tiga is breaking ground as an internationally loved DJ, running his own Turbo Recordings imprint and putting out cult albums with collaborations from the likes of Soulwax, James Murphy and Jori Hulkkonen. Not a bad career transition, right?

The man himself agrees, speaking in a charmingly reflective manner throughout our interview about his progression as a DJ over the years. "I've been doing this for a long time and I guess I'm lucky that that's the case," he grins. "I'd say that I have a love affair with DJing. And just like any love affair in your life, you're constantly moving in and out of that love. There are times that you question it and there are times when you are head over heels without it," he muses thoughtfully. "But at its core, I'll always love it enough to continue that relationship... even after around 17 years of doing it."

While Tiga's considered and strikingly frank discussion of his craft might seem incongruous coming from a guy who writes songs like Sex O'Clock, it reveals a broader picture of Tiga, namely, he's someone who takes what he does very seriously and as such he's often assessing and dissecting what he does nearly every weekend.

"DJing is a strange thing because in its essence it's really quite simple. It's a little bit like playing pool in that you can make all the shots sometimes but other times you're wrapped up in your own head," he says before laughing off that confusing metaphor. "I think recently my DJing hasn't been at its best. That's not to say that it's been terrible, but these past few years haven't been that glorious for me," he says dryly before cracking a laugh. "I think that's because I've been investing a lot of my time into other things and I've been moved out of that focus zone."

But there's really no cause for alarm as Tiga assures us he's been working on incorporating some new elements into his sets, offering up a new edge to the classic Tiga show. "I think if I'm DJing and not doing a full live show I should find a midway point, which could have a live element, like me doing on the fly productions," Tiga says. "I want to make it more unique and 'one of a kind,' so there's a difference between me playing my records and someone else just playing my records."

Catch Tiga as part of the massive 360 Parklife spinoff side show, also featuring A-Trak and MSTRKRFT. It's at the UC Refectory on Friday September 25 and you can get a ticket through Moshtix.

Teenagersintokyo - Isabella

Shacking up with Bat For Lashes studio wiz Dave Kosten to produce their debut album has clearly been a stroke of genius for Sydney's beloved Teenagersintokyo. On this stop-gap single, the band sounds bigger and better than ever before. There's just this cinematic feel to things; the basslines are broodier, the drums more machine than man. Australia's next big indie export? It looks like it.

Jay-Z ft. Rihanna & Kanye West - Run This Town

Jay-Z, Kanye and Rihanna, three urban pop forces to be reckoned with. Sadly, the combination of the three on Hova's new single is actually kinda sucky. Kanye can barely keep up with Jay and Rihanna's quasi-diva tones are more suited to her solo work. Talk about a missed opportunity.

Miley Cyrus - Party In The U.S.A.

Let's be serious for a second. Who's buying this stuff? I can understand the tweens, but surely they alone don't have the cash to get this junky pop into the charts? So people, real people over the age of 17 are buying this, playing it in their cars, singing it loudly, and seriously enjoying it. Houston, we have a problem.

Trey Songz ft. Gucci Mane & Soulja Boy - LOL :-)

As ridiculous as naming your song LOL Smiley Face and as dreadful as Soulja Boy's guest verse is, I can't deny that this is a definite jam. It never hurts to have Gucci Mane on your track, but really this is just a straight up earworm.

Short Stack - Sway, Sway Baby!

More like Shit Stack, am I right?

Shakira - She Wolf

A glowing review for a Shakira single? Crazy, right? Well bear with me, because this is so worth the leap of faith. Sure Shakira's voice is still nigh-on intolerable but the production is top quality, sounding like a cross between upper class pop and Franz Ferdinand or The Bravery at their catchy disco best. You'll be howling along with this in no time, promise.

Muse - Uprising

Muse. My mortal enemies. They're back. But I think I've finally figured them out. Muse are like bad science fiction. Think Stargate Atlantis or the painfully obscure spin-off novels from Star Wars, all ridiculous and excessive. That's Muse. Hell, they've even got Dr Who-aping electronics and bullshit lyrics about space in this track. And again, much like bad sci-fi, Muse get hordes of followers praising their fearless courtship of the overblown, without a lick of irony in sight. Well Muse, congrats on that. This will certainly only bring more followers to your poorly ventilated conventions/arena shows. I'll stay where I am though, middle finger raised and praying for an out of control meteor to hurtle towards your tour bus. Damn, I guess I just gave 'em inspiration for a whole new concept album.

Girls - Lust For Life

Girls keep it simple. From their matter of-fact name to the title of their debut album - literally just titled Album - and to their stripped-back, sun-soaked reworking of garage rock. And you know what? Simplicity works really damn well.

The Sound Of Arrows Into The Clouds

Former Labrador indie hopefuls The Sound Of Arrows are back and brighter than ever. With Into The Clouds the duo warp back in time to the birth of Euro pop, when big, sincere pop music ruled the world. Think Eurovision, think boy band aesthetics and Enya devotion. Brilliant.

Friendly Fires Kiss Of Life

Expanding on the eclectic electro-funk that was their debut album, Friendly Fires manage to eclipse pretty much everything on that record with this new gem, Kiss Of Life. I loved that record. Here, Paul Epworth's production is polished and perfected whilst the band are tighter than ever, casting forth an insatiable groove. It's exciting to listen to, and that can only be a good thing.

Duck Sauce aNYway

A-Trak and Armand Van Helden team up to create Duck Sauce and with it, the duo bring forth some incredibly funked up disco gold. It's all chikka-chikka guitars, driving beats and storming breakdowns. Add some decidedly French-touch effects and you've got one hell of an anthem.

David Guetta ft. Akon Sexy Bitch

Is the universe just all in on some scarily elaborate prank where we all pretend that A) David Guetta is still relevant B) Akon wouldn't fuck a dead camel for a quick buck C) this is actually good? Nice one guys, but please knock it off already.

Duck Sauce + aNYway

A-Trak and Armand Van Helden team up to create Duck Sauce and with it the duo bring forth some incredibly funked up disco gold. It’s all chikka-chikka guitars, driving beats and storming breakdowns. Add some decidedly French-touch effects and you’ve got one hell of an anthem.

Drake + Best I Ever Had

While his status as a Degrassi alumni makes it hard to buy Drake as a Lil Wayne/Kanye West protégé, his releases are constantly impressing and building a solid rep that is sure to eclipse any lingering fame from his acting career. Best I Ever Had saunters out with a neat, shuffling beat and Drake himself pounces on it and just owns the whole thing. More please.

Datarock + True Stories

No joke, Datarock’s recent Red LP beats the shit out of their first record. It’s all thought out party jams where their debut was a series of facepalm-worthy party wipeouts. True Stories is definitely in the former camp, with strong leanings to Talking Heads (with the choppy guitars, eclectic percussion and lyrics literally lifted from a Talking Heads songbook). It rattles along for three minutes, unrelenting in its grin-inducing greatness.

Cobra Starship + Good Girls Go Bad ft. Leighton Meester

Yikes, this is rough. Cobra Starship, a band whose big claim to fame was being included on the Snakes On A Plane soundtrack, have managed to outdo themselves in the awful stakes with this track. Truly a mess of ham-fisted party rock (?), Good Girls Gone Bad is all sorts of dreadful audio trash. And Leighton Meester is really ruining my delusions that Gossip Girl is real with this whole singing career thing. Stop it, B.

Bag Raiders

It’s been a steady slog to prominence for Sydney twosome BAG RAIDERS (that’s Jack Glass and Chris Stracey to their Mums). After catching the eye of Bang Gang honcho Gus da Hoodrat, Jack and Chris worked with Gus on early productions and DJ shows before switching back to a duo when Gus’ Bang Gang commitments became too time consuming. Still, with that momentum behind them they surged on; releasing four EPs (two original sets and two remix packs) on the boutique Bang Gang 12 Inches label, building their profile with each passing achievement. Now with a label deal with electro big boys Modular and some round-the-clock radio play for their new single, the conquering synth-pop gem Shooting Stars, the Baggies look set to crossover into the big leagues at last.

“It’s been really good so far,” Jack says from the duo’s Sydney studio. “The Modular deal has been great for us and all this radio play we’ve been getting has totally smashed Shooting Stars, it feels really big,” he says with a laugh. Chris agrees, saying that Shooting Stars seems like a turning point for the pair. “It’s going pretty crazy in the clubs. We were playing it out recently and when the opening synth beeps came in all the girls just started yelling and screaming,” he laughs. “We were so stoked about that because when we used to play [their other monster single] Fun Punch all the dudes in the club would go nuts and start grunting along to the synth line. I guess that shows that we’re not totally macho, we’ve got some crossover appeal!”

It’d be hard to argue with that as when I catch them, the boys are about to embark on a new national tour in support of Shooting Stars, due to take in more dates at bigger venues than they’ve hit before. “Yeah, this should be pretty fun, we always have a great time when we go out to DJ,” Jack says. Indeed, after this tour Jack and Chris will take the Bag Raiders action overseas, hopping across the pond to Europe and Asia. “We can’t wait to go back to Japan,” Chris beams. “That’s probably one of our favourite places to go to. Not just because of the awesome synth shops in Tokyo but just because the crowds are so different. We were there last year and we were blown away. Nobody does drugs or gets too drunk but they still party really hard, going ‘til like four or five in the morning at full steam. You just don’t get crowds like that here.”

Once the boys finish plundering their overseas fans, they’ll swiftly return home to wrap up their first album, due out on Modular early next year. “We’re not too sure what we’ll do with it. Maybe we’ll go crazy and be really avant-garde,” Jack laughs. “Yeah, we could do the whole thing with coconut shells,” Chris says, chiming in. “And we could get a crab to play them live. That’d be so brilliant.”

Bag Raiders will be at Lot 33 on Friday August 14 for their Shooting Stars single launch.

Florence + The Machine Rabbit Heart

While everyone is fussing over La Roux and Little Boots for UK popstar worship, people are missing the glory of Florence + The Machine. One of the best songs off of one of the year's best LPs, Rabbit Heart is a musical odyssey. Cascading percussion, euphoric vocals and motherfucking harps fuse together for something as uplifting as it is enigmatic and strange. We probably won't remember Little Boots in a few years time, but this is just the beginning of Florence + The Machine's ascent to stardom.

F.L.Y. Party Time

As sceptical as I was about three-piece rap group Fast Life Yungstaz doing some twisted beach thug hybrid, I've got to say this is just genius. These dudes have sun-drenched production and summer-loving lyrics and they've also got the balls to revive the words 'gnarly' and 'cowabunga'. I love it. Surf-rap is here.

Black Eyed Peas I Gotta Feeling

Most Black Eyed Peas songs are pointless enough, but here they manage to out-do themselves. What a piece of disposable trash. It's not even catchy. Seriously, it's just plain bad. And dudes can't spell properly either.

The Pussycat Dolls - Hush Hush; Hush Hush (UMA)

Not sure why the Dolls felt the need to emphasise their request for silence four-fold, but let's run with that theme. Crap Crap Crap Crap. No No No No. Gloria Gaynor WTF WTF WTF WTF. Please stop stop stop stop.

Simian Mobile Disco ft. Chris Keating - Audacity Of Huge (Shock)

Huge is a fitting word for this tune. It's a monster. Classic SMD piled-up beats, quirky main room electro and some grandstanding vocals from Yeasayer's Chris Keating. Of course, being as huge as it is, it's never subtle. But like we already acknowledged, it's huge, so there's really no time to think when it's clubbing you over the head with a fist full of awesome.

MSTRKRFT ft. John Legend - Heartbreaker (etcetc)

One of the only agreed upon salvos from MSTRKRFT's almost universally hated Fist Of God LP (I don't hate it, quite the opposite really), Heartbreaker features the dulcet tones of John Legend on vox. Yeah, that John Legend. And I was wrong about him. Dude is stone cold cool. So this collaboration is great. MSTRKRFT show a new side of themselves with this sombre slice of piano-driven electro. It's insistent with its pumping drums and undeniably smooth. Big ups.

Keri Hilson ft. Kanye West & Ne-Yo - Knock You Down (UMA)

This song is fire. Not on fire. It is fire. I mean, spring-backed beat, cheeky production, and three genuine stars hitting all their marks. Kanye turns everything he touches to legitimate gold, Keri Hilson has been making all the right moves since teaming with Timbaland and Ne-Yo takes a break from being a dork to put in a charismatic guest verse. And there's auto-tuned harmonies. Stunner.

Maximo Park The Kids Are Sick Again

Remember when Maxïmo Park were good? I think it was back in 2005. Yeah, that’s about right. Back then they were interesting and, more importantly, an exciting band to listen to. What happened? I’d like to think it was some disastrous drug abuse, but it turns out they’re just too boring for something like that and are just a shit band who write weak, bland and painfully awkward songs. Bye guys.

[Sony BMG]

Maybe if I was also botox-ed out of my brain I would enjoy this, but as it stands I’m needle free and it just sounds like an even blander version of Delta Goodrem.

[Etc Etc / Universal]

After the sun-soaked desert-disco of Serio, Sydney princes Lost Valentinos take another step into the wilderness. This time they’re camped out in the bush for the night, huddled before a fire with nothing but wild berries to eat. That’s just part one. As the red berries take hold in part two, senses are altered and time is stretched for a thumping spirit quest across the cosmos. Genius.

[Polydor / Universal]

Yeah, okay, it is hopelessly of the moment with those retro-crushed synths and wailing vocals, but let’s face it – this kicks in at all the right places. If there’s any justice in the world, this will be huge.

[Warner]

What do you do when you’ve been around for as long as Eskimo Joe? Add some vaguely Eastern influences. Oh dear. But even after the appearance of the band’s explorations, the whole song just devolves into some washed out and dumbed down crossbreed of U2, Kings of Leon and Bon Jovi. Yeesh.

The Presets - If I Know You (Modular/UMA)

I guess this is what happens when you build up an album to be something it’s not and then you’re stuck releasing the second rate camp joints from it.

Shimmy A Go Go - Short Stack (UMA)

If I had a dollar for every time I heard this kind of nauseating, cringetacular faux-punk, I’d have enough money to go out and buy a gun...

Kanye West - Amazing ft. Young Jeezy (Rocafella/UMA)

Usually I’m a big supporter of Kanye’s thoughtful and future-gazing hip hop, but this is total rubbish. Even Jeezy gets bogged down in the tepid doze-fest of a beat, and that’s no easy feat. Despite his insistences in the song’s chorus (?) that this is “amazing, it’s amazing, so amazing”, ‘Ye, it’s not, it’s not, it’s really not.’

Kanye West - Amazing ft. Young Jeezy (Rocafella/UMA)

Usually I’m a big supporter of Kanye’s thoughtful and future-gazing hip hop, but this is total rubbish. Even Jeezy gets bogged down in the tepid doze-fest of a beat, and that’s no easy feat. Despite his insistences in the song’s chorus (?) that this is “amazing, it’s amazing, so amazing”, ‘Ye, it’s not, it’s not, it’s really not.’

Flo Rida - Sugar ft. Wynter (UMA)

How can you rip Eiffel 65? Seriously! That shit is like untouchable, because it is both amazing and ridiculously bad. We’ve all acknowledged that. So who thought this was a good idea? The cartoon rapper that is Flo Rida or one of the scores of string pullers behind him?

Eminem - We Made You (Interscope/UMA)

For the guy who shocked millions with his first couple of albums, We Made You sees Eminem lash out at the softest of the soft; Sarah Palin, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse and Britney (again) all get a run. This is about as edgy as an orange.

Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow (UMA)

I’m surprised and even impressed that will.i.am saved one of the forward thinking productions that he usually farms out to those with open cheque books to replace the generally lazy and derivative tracks the ‘Peas are used to fronting on, but for all the fun of the subterranean drums and the mainstream-appeal-killing glitchy quirks, this track is mud once Fergie brings her worthless self to the show. Swing and a miss. I’ve got a bad feeling about this issue…

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

It’s kind of not the return that I expected of YYYs. I guess I was wanting a little more bite. But this is pretty polished. The bounding beat, the bubbling sequencers. It’s very fun. So I’m going to go with it. I mean, they’re the kind of band that have always done whatever they want, so now, if they want to make bouncy, danceable indie-rock hybrids then okay, I’ll still be listening.

T-Pain ft. Chris Brown

I actually like T-Pain. Dude’s unconventional. Chubby, garish and robotic, the guy shouldn’t be a pop star. But he kills it. And he makes me want a vocoder just so I can say ‘shorty’ through it all day. And this is unconventional, forward-gazing pop with its sparse structure just begging for those drums. Oh and there’s this Chris Brown fellow in there. He seems like a nice, gentle kind of guy.

Lost Valentinos

Cities of Gold indeed. The lead single from the upcoming title of that name is a wonderfully hazy skirmish through an endless South American desert. It’s the band searching for their fortune but instead finding untold treasures in the form of booming tribal drums, Rudi van DiSarzio-style backwards guitar solos and Ewan Pearson’s sun-soaked production touches. Let me spell it out. Solid gold.

Junior Boys

Remember Junior Boys? Remember me and Junior Boys? How they completely floored me in 2006 with So This Is Goodbye, the incredible, heartswelling record album of the year that I still listen to today? Yeah. Them. They’re back. And they’ve gotten… kind of cheery. They’ve honed their electro-soul to a fine art here, with smart, considered moves all throughout, from the cascading 808s to the barely-there synth solo. Coming to a Best-of-2009 list near you.

Cassie Davis

Points for trying. But it’s like the forgotten Katy Perry B-Side you never knew existed. Because it never got released. Because it was too shit to even be a B-Side to that one about nailing other chicks. So it became a C-Side. And that never existed until this song came out and required we invent something called a C-Side. And then they released an album of C-Sides. Called C-Side Shanties: Where Songs Go To Die. That is all.

Gameboy/Gamegirl - They Got Game

Somewhere out in the world there’s a place where hip-hop meets electro, where fluoro meets gangsta and where inhibition gets thrown out the car window. That world is the Golden Ghetto Sex EP, built up by Melbourne hipster-hop collective GAMEBOY/GAMEGIRL . It’s pretty wild, guys. Like, where else will you hear ballads dedicated to putting feet in pumps and putting dicks into rumps smooshed alongside a dazzling amount of bling and casual nudity. Nowhere, that’s where. I caught up with female MC and pump enthusiast, Jess, to get a glimpse into that world.

Dave: It’s kind of funny that even though you guys are technically Australian hip-hop, I don’t think of you as Oz Hip-Hop. What do you think it is that separates you from the local scene?

Jess: We don’t sit next to a thesaurus filling our songs with long-winded sentences that are totally BORE-ING! We keep it simple, keep it fun. They seem to think that adding big words to their songs makes them and their music intelligent, but it doesn’t. They still dress badly, have terribly boring songs and sound lame. We have fabulous outfits and make kids want to dance. As I said in the other interview, we don’t live in the same Australia as them. They’re representing a different crowd. Wear Etnies and baggy jeans, that’s cool, but don’t get angry when we put on accents. We’re just trying to look like we’re not related to you.

Dave: Do you ever wish that scene would embrace you? Even a little bit?

Jess: No way… It just lacks everything I love about our scene. Good clothes, good shoes and good dancing. There is a lack of charisma.

Dave: Is Pumps n’ Rumps your Nosebleed Section?

Jess: Yeah except BETTER… It’s about shoes and booty. Even they can’t deny they want booty and shoes. I can’t relate to their music… See! We’re universal man.

Dave: I read in a past interview with you guys that you take some inspiration from the new/newer breed of hip-hop. Are we talking like Timbaland? Will you guys feature on the next record by The Game?

Jess: We’re totally into the new shit, really poppy dancey beats. The Pack, Spank Rock, Afrikan Boy, MIA, BMX. I love the new Nelly and Fergie track. I’ll take your Kylie and Britney any day, but then I love Ying Yang Twins, Three 6 Mafia, Lil’ Wayne. We’re like the nerds that worship super heroes.

Dave: What do you think that comes down to? Are you guys more
influenced by that stuff because you grew up with that around you?

Jess: I listened to like Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony and Cypress Hill when I was a kid ‘cause of my brothers. Also a lot of Seattle grunge. It resonates in my music… NOT. Katy (GB/GG’s other rapstress) and I were into pop punk in high school. It used to be a faux pas to admit you liked pop and commercial hip-hop. I guess it was a progression. Crossovers are so common now that genres barely exist, so it’s a free for all. We love T-Pain, Glass Candy, Miami horror, Crystal Castles. That’s what’s so sweet about our genre, ‘Coochie Club’; it’s made up so we can do whatever the fuck we want really… just a dash of ‘tude and a cup of sweet beats.

Gameboy/Gamegirl bring their shoe ‘n’ booty rhymes to the Warehouse Winter Music Festival at the AIS Arena on Saturday May 31. Final release tickets on sale now through Ticketek and Landspeed.

PNAU - pnauler

“We do kind of feel like the old guys returning to the scene,” Nick Littlemore, one half of PNAU and all-round indie superstar, says down the blower as he and his partner in riddim, Peter Mayes, prepare to take the Pnau experience to the masses. “But, y’know, we’re different too. Every kid is just using some software on a laptop now. We’re nothing like that. We start all our stuff on old, old, old equipment from the ‘70s, the tools that our old heroes like Todd Terry used. We’re using that ethos but bringing into a modern context.”

In case you didn’t know, or are just kinda, well, thick, Pnau are back. Better than ever, some might say. Myself included. And the reason why I start Nick off with this question is because it certainly feels that with the whole synths, beats, distortion-times-infinity thing becoming as ubiquitous as it is right now, Pnau, utter legends of Australian electronic digs, have come back triumphantly to show the new school how it’s truly done.

But after so long in the woods, what brought the Pnau pair out of retirement? “We saw how all of our friends were getting big and touring all over the world, and we were just like, ‘why can’t we do that?’” Nick says, laughing. “We knew we had a base with Pnau, it had history, and we’d been growing in confidence all the time. I was producing a lot of stuff and was also doing Teenager. That was great for me. That’s how I learned to write songs… real songs. That’s what is special about this record, it’s got real songs on it, with intent and meaning,” Nick says of the buzzed-up album.

“We were working on it for ages, tweaking something here and there, making it just what we wanted it to be. I think we got there. It’s a fun record. We just gathered all our friends around [holy gosh, Feadz,Luke Steele, Ladyhawke and more] and tried to make something with positive messages the whole way through,” he says. “Really, that’s what people want to hear, you know. We’re not trying to make something that’s dense and complicated. We’re not self indulgent.”

In a way, the new album is a road map for everything’s that’s happening in the booming electro scene, both in Australia and international hotspots like France and LA. From the pumped rave of Wild Strawberries to the synth pop power anthem of Embrace, and the tweaked giddiness of current single Baby, Pnau show the kids how it’s really done. “Everyone’s doing great stuff right now, but these songs have real, meaningful messages in them and I think that’s been missing from a lot of the stuff around,” Nick says of the new wave of electro. “Listening to Justice is cool but it’s just a lot of [squealing synth distortion] biddlioo biddlioo biddlio bssjjhhhhh,” he laughs. “There’s more to us than all that.”

It would seem as though the band’s devious strategy for world domination has started to take effect, with international audiences going gaga for Pnau’s infectious brand of electro-poppery. “The reaction from overseas has been pretty spectacular so far,” Nick enthuses proudly. “That’s been cool for us. To know that people who wouldn’t normally be exposed to it are responding to positively… it feels good,” he says. “It’s a bit funny when we hear people talk about us and think that we’re a new band and this is our first record. But at least they’re listening.”

Pnau play at the University of Canberra refectory on Wednesday April 9, with Van She and Breakbot (France). Tickets on sale through Ticketek and inthemix.com.au . Pnau is out now through EtcEtc/Universal.