Regular readers (or at least the ones who read last issue’s column) will know I have been busting out the Honesty Electron Pack of late and “crossing the streams” by sharing things a Publisher perhaps shouldn’t share in a public forum.
As such, last issue I detailed in depth my path to the break up of my marriage. To those who may have scandalously missed said column, allow me to catch you up in two words: “Me dumb”.
Since then, I have found myself thrust (#phrasing) back into the giddy world of “dating” (as I believe the kids these days say) and I report back from the field with thus:
Three months; three heartbreaks.
I really need to buy some mints.
I know, I know. You’re probably there thinking, “Cripes, Allan!” (Well, you’re probably not thinking “cripes”. No one says cripes except me. Possibly one of the reasons I keep getting broken up with...). Sorry, that was a long parenthesis, and I’ve somewhat distracted myself. Where was I? Oh yes! What you’re possibly thinking. Ahem:
“Cripes, Allan! AGAIN with over-sharey, sadsack, honest crap?”
Well worry not, dear sweet beautiful reader. This is a positive post, not a sad one, despite what the prior content and intention of sharing would suggest.
Am I in pain? Am I sad?
Of course I am. I’m a human person, not a psychopath. If I wasn’t sad, I’d be worried.
But increasingly I recognise pain (emotional pain, that is) as being an absence of something that was once good; a deviation from a hopeful expectation.
So, in my cognitive dissonance – whilst I am sad, I am also happy.
Because this pain is a representation, and signifier, of the happy, beautiful, wonderful time I had leading up to this point, for which I shall be eternally grateful.
And it reminds and educates me that in the quest to be A Better Person, there are stumbling blocks, and I’m still learning. Ooooooo boy, am I still learning.
So find someone you love and give them a hug, y’all. Life can suck at times, but it doesn’t mean it’s not great if you seek it.