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LMFAO

Column: CD Single Reviews   |   Date Published: Tuesday, 6 December 11   |   Author: Dave Ruby Howe   |   1 year, 5 months ago

     Party Rock Anthem [UMA]

LMFAO have proven across the year just how despicably dreadful they are, yet it’s this single that sticks with us, lingering like a rotten fart and clogging up our nostrils with cheap synth squiggles, caveman raps and some bullshit about shuffling that’s already six years too late.

 

Jessie J: Price Tag ft. B.o.B [UMA]

No joke, this shit is softer than soba noodles with both Jessie J and B.o.B even pipping Adele to the post as 2011’s most boring and limp dicked musical moment.

 

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David Guetta: Where Them Girls At ft. Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj [EMI]

Simply the biggest, dumbest, most obnoxious mesh of dance and rap that you’ll hear this year. And hopefully ever because this shit deserves to die.

 

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Farewell Dave Ruby Howe, and thank you!:

Seeing as though this is my last singles column forever I figure we should go out with a bang and revisit the very worst releases of 2011. That’s always been more fun anyway.

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Brian McFadden: Just The Way You Are (Drunk At The Bar) [BMF Records]

A master class in terrible music unto himself, BriFad reached new heights (depths?) of shitness here, bridging the gap between pro date rape anthems and hard floor banjo beats. Eugh.

 

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Bruno Mars: Grenade [Warner]

Bruno Mars and that fucking fedora hat. For all his saturation this year it’s Grenade that hurts the most. What a nightmare of a song this is with cloying, overwrought poncing about from the ever artificial Mars. Be prepared to hear this in every X-Factor audition for the next jillion years.

 

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