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LMFAO

Column: CD Single Reviews   |   Date Published: Tuesday, 6 December 11   |   Author: Dave Ruby Howe   |   1 year, 5 months ago

     Party Rock Anthem [UMA]

LMFAO have proven across the year just how despicably dreadful they are, yet it’s this single that sticks with us, lingering like a rotten fart and clogging up our nostrils with cheap synth squiggles, caveman raps and some bullshit about shuffling that’s already six years too late.

 

Bruno Mars: Grenade [Warner]

Bruno Mars and that fucking fedora hat. For all his saturation this year it’s Grenade that hurts the most. What a nightmare of a song this is with cloying, overwrought poncing about from the ever artificial Mars. Be prepared to hear this in every X-Factor audition for the next jillion years.

 

Jessie J: Price Tag ft. B.o.B [UMA]

No joke, this shit is softer than soba noodles with both Jessie J and B.o.B even pipping Adele to the post as 2011’s most boring and limp dicked musical moment.

 

Farewell Dave Ruby Howe, and thank you!:

Seeing as though this is my last singles column forever I figure we should go out with a bang and revisit the very worst releases of 2011. That’s always been more fun anyway.

Brian McFadden: Just The Way You Are (Drunk At The Bar) [BMF Records]

A master class in terrible music unto himself, BriFad reached new heights (depths?) of shitness here, bridging the gap between pro date rape anthems and hard floor banjo beats. Eugh.

 

David Guetta: Where Them Girls At ft. Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj [EMI]

Simply the biggest, dumbest, most obnoxious mesh of dance and rap that you’ll hear this year. And hopefully ever because this shit deserves to die.

 

 

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